As a youngster I really enjoyed reading The Flash. Although I still get a thrill from envisioning myself as the world's fastest human it is sadly no longer enough to let me completely suspend disbelief and immerse myself in the stories (which are actually kind of stupid). That said, I will still buy these archives for as long as they are published and I one day hope to own a complete collection of the comics (on paper, DVD, or otherwise). I know how it sounds. Shut up.
I told my wife (who is sweet and awesome, by the way) a while ago that I do not read Stephen King books any more so it was a surprise when I got this for Christmas. According to the inscription she wrote “I know that it has been years since you've enjoyed one of King's books, but I couldn't resist. I hope this will be one of those guilty pleasures – one of those books you can't help but love.” There was some other mushy stuff but also she told me that I needed to review it in my blog, even if I didn't like it.
Sigh. Fine. Here goes.
First, please note that I did not say that getting this book for Christmas was a “pleasant surprise” or a “nice surprise”. I guess I was surprised much in the same way you would be if you walked out to the driveway and discovered one of your tires had gone flat overnight. “Cell” was the last in a series of horrible King books I read a while back (a notable other being the last book of the Gunslinger series). I stopped reading them on purpose because, umm, my perception of their value has changed significantly over the years. Yeah. Let's go with that.
Anyway, what can I say about this book? Oh, yeah. I hated it.
No. Hate is not a strong enough word. After plowing through nearly 1,100 pages of the most ridiculous garbage imaginable there is no single word in English for how I feel. I guess “anger” comes close, but it doesn't really reflect how multi-level insulted/disappointed I feel after reading this. Apparently the only thing keeping sleepy small towns in Maine from self-destructing within a week is sheer luck and their bonding hatred of out-of-state tourists.
I'm not going to sum up the book – lots of other people have done that already. Just picture all of the bad or predicable parts of every other King book you have read cut and pasted together to create this massive tome. If that's your thing, though, and you don't mind being hit with a parade of in-your-face bad science, bad technology, bad sociology, extremely unlikely personal behavior, extremely unlikely personal background knowledge/abilities, unnecessary and useless psychic events, all culminating in the most eye-rolling ending to a book ever, then by all means go for it.
In conclusion a) this book should have been 800 pages shorter and b) sent to the shredder instead of the printer. Of course, that is just my opinion – Amazon shows it has a rating of 3.5 stars... Some of the 1-star reviews are pretty neat to read, though...
Great. Now my blood is all angried up. Next review:
Another Christmas gift (this time I was pleasantly surprised). I had read The Year of Living Biblically by the same and had loved it so I was looking forward to getting rid of the bad taste the King book left in my mouth. Unfortunately it did not.
The premise is that this guy decides to read/skim the Encyclopedia Britannica from A to Z and comment on what he finds interesting then pepper it with stories from his personal life - I guess much like a blog. As I wrack my brain trying to come up with distinct instances of things that made me mad or what have you, I can't. Well, actually, I can, but the reasons are all so petty that they simply don't stand on their own and they just seem bitter and unwarranted. Making a list would be time consuming and useless.
Why didn't I like it? Well, if I had to sum up the tone of book in two words I guess “smarmy over-privilege” is what I would be forced to use. It just rubbed me the wrong way for most of the book.
When I was young I had a 1977 printing of The People's Almanac Presents The Book of Lists that I read until the cover fell off and the pages were falling out. I don't know why I was so enamored with it- its just one of those things, I guess. I was overjoyed a few years ago when perusing a used book store in Norfolk, Virginia when I found a copy. I also found that there had been a re-print in 1993 so I picked that up, too. Both have honored places in my “library”.
Sadly, I can't say the same thing for the listverse book. I am sure it has some great stuff in it, but it has too many items in it that I feel are merely opinions or otherwise extremely debatable (such as the10 Things That are Surprisingly Good For You – the list includes ice cream and smoking). Meh. I did not finish the book and I don't really intend to.
So there you have it. Four grumpy book reviews for four distinct genres. I am looking forward to an enjoyable read sometime in the future. If anyone has any recommendations, leave a comment.
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2 comments:
Thank you for reading and reviewing the books. For Father's Day, maybe you'll receive Danielle Steele and Charlaine Harris books. Maybe it's the genres your reading. -- The Wife (terrible book connoisseur )
Thanks for the books, Mrs. SnowUrchin!
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