He Drinks a Whiskey Drink

You know that Irish friend of mine I talk about sometimes?  The one with the big family and the appreciation for fine booze? Says "Begorrah" a lot and carries a shillelagh?  Likes to craft well-written insult letters at Christmas?

Yeah. Him. 

To thank him for introducing me to the wide world of whiskey, and to congratulate him for completing (against all odds) yet another orbit around the sun, I got him a bottle of Scotch. I never tried the one I gave him (Glenkinchie 12) myself so I told him I was basically just using him as a Guinea pig to see if I would like it or not. 

He didn't seem to mind.  

He was nice enough to write up a review. I corrected the child-like spelling, shored up the grammar as best I could, removed all the curse words, and expunged all of the overt threats toward local politicians. Even after doing all that, it's still pretty long. Here it is:

It has been some time since I indulged in whiskey, my tastes vacillate on different spirits as we have discussed, but this is a very enjoyable vintage, if I may use that term.  My experience may be unique to me, but as one must at time get past the initial tannic taste of wine in order to enjoy the more subtle notes of the vintage, so to with whiskey must one get past some of the peaty taste.  Again, my personal experience.  Yours may vary.     

I have never purchased any whiskey this aged for myself, so this is my first experience with anything of this caliber.  The color is much lighter than I am use to and my palate for whiskey may be more limited than my palate for wine.  To use the buzz terms, the peat taste is not as strong as other whiskey or blends have had and I think actually adds to the overall enjoyment of this whiskey.   This has a very light, crisp finish and I taste slight sweetness and oak flavors that play well together.

I think you or anyone interested in what the finer whiskeys can taste like would enjoy this. 

Ok, ok, we get it, there, James William Bottomtooth III... You like it.   My God... Two paragraphs for one lousy drink? Pfft. We don't have time for that jazz:

Here's what I thought of the ones I've tried so far:

The Belvenie (12) - Man, that's good.

Jameson Special Reserve (12) - The commercials don’t lie.

Gentleman Jack - Smoooooooth.

Dewar’s White Label - What the… What the hell is this?

Dewar’s (12) - Ok.  That’s more like it.

The Glenlivit (12) - TBD.  Tonight, AAMOF.

And that's how you do an Internet review in 2013, Junior.

[Drops mike. Saunters offstage.]