Fans of Cutthroat

Last year we stumbled across Cutthroat Kitchen and we quickly got hooked.  We figured, though, that the types of sabotages the chefs endure, however diabolical, have gotten a little routine and need to be enhanced a bit.  Here’s what we came up with:

You have the right to replace all of one of your opponent’s proteins with a single tarantula (a shout-out to my brother-in-law who actually ate one of those last November…)

Force a competitor to do all of their cooking using their own body heat as their only heat source.

Make one of your rivals insult the food taster the entire time they are at their station, focusing on physical appearance, national origin, and manner of speech.

If you win this auction item, you may shiv one of your opponents once in a place and time of your choosing during this challenge.

Each of your opponents must retrieve all of their food from the deep fryer or stove using nothing but their elbows.

All of your opponents must remove all of their piercings, cover their tattoos, and de-mohawk their hair before they can start prepping and cooking.  As you can imagine, this will be very, very time consuming.

Every time a chef incorrectly describes him/herself as attractive during this challenge or in the cutaways, it will cost him/her $5,000.

You may force an opponent to gather their ingredients from the pantry blindfolded. 

Your opponent’s final plated item must weigh at least five pounds and be uniform in color.

 If you lose this auction, you will be tied to three very large, very friendly, very hungry dogs for the remainder of the challenge.

Not a bad set of changes.  I’m sure viewership would climb...

The six-year-old also noted that each of the chefs could easily walk out of there with $25,000 since they all have a lot of knives and Alton Brown doesn’t.  

Way to think outside the box, kiddo.  You know, I think I’ll earmark the money we have in his college fund for “bail” instead…