A Completely Made-Up Free-Time Metric

How do you spend your time when not doing things that are 100% mandatory, like going to work, mowing the lawn, or what have you?  Well, if you are the type that needs validation by being graded on practically ungradeable aspects of your life, read on.

Time is precious.  We all have a finite number of heartbeats granted to us when we are born, and it is how we decide to use them that matters.  But how can you put a number on the worthiness of these pursuits?  Here's one way.

 

Free-time activities can be judged using three categories:
1) Self-Destructive/Self-Improving 2) Consumer-Based/Producer-Based and 3) Unhappy-Making/Happy-Making.  Let's give each of these categories a scale that runs from 1 (bad) to 10 (good).

 The first, Self-Destructive/Self-Improving (SD/SI), measures the extent of what you are doing with regards to how good for you or how bad for you it is. The word "you" here also includes your immediate surroundings both physical and social, btw.

 The second, Consumer-Based/Producer-Based (CB/PB), is a little more difficult to define.  Basically, if you are using a resource or product without creating a tangible end-product, then that is CB.  It is PB if you are filling a void in the world with something you're doing.

 The third category, Unhappy-Making/Happy-Making (UM/HM), is by far the most slippery to nail down.  Instant gratification is not the same as happiness (although sometimes it smells the same). You need to take into account the long term happiness/unhappiness of everyone involved in your pastime for an accurate assessment.

 Remember, each of the scores is what you feel the score should be.  There is no wrong answer since you are needlessly attempting to measure intangible features of something using an arbitrary ruler made up on the spur of the moment by someone who has probably never met you.  That said, be honest and try not to "lawyer-up" the scale.

 Got it?  Great.  Here comes the math.

 Score your activity using the categories above, add the scores together, and divide by three.  Now you have an average of your measurements.  The idea is to get as high of a score as possible.  Use the examples below to get a feel for the grading.

• Sitting quietly, doing nothing: (5 + 5 + 5)/3 = 5.0
• Watching a TV show you don't care about: (5 + 3 + 5)/3 = 4.3
• Eating an entire large pizza while watching your favorite show: (2 + 1 + 8)/3 = 3.7
• Chucking Faberge eggs at pedestrians from your Hummer: (1 + 1 + 1)/3 = 1
• Injuring yourself in an expensive way: (1 + 2 + 1)/3 = 1.3
• Same as above, but posting it to YouTube: (1 + 3 + 8)/3 = 4.0
• Teaching yourself to play an instrument: (8 + 10 + 7)/3 = 8.3
• Going out drinking with friends: (4 + 3 + 9)/3 = 5.3
• Staying home, drinking alone: (2 + 3 + 3)/3 = 2.7
• Planting a garden: (6 + 9 + 7)/3 = 7.3
• Planting a poison ivy garden: (3 + 6 + 1)/3 = 3.3

You get the idea.

 Most of the realistic things we do during our free time will have an overall score between 4 and 6.  That's just fine. Less than 4: maybe consider a new hobby. Over 6: well done, you over-achiever, you.

 The scoring isn't perfect because there are lots of complicating factors.  For example, a one-hour treadmill workout at the gym gets a high score (9 + 4 + 7)/3 = 6.7 but following it up immediately with another one would be a bad idea (2 + 4 + 1)/3 = 2.3.  Likewise, playing a fun video game (although it is inherently a consumer-based task) might get a score above 5, but doing that to the exclusion of all else day in and day out not only is self-destructive, the happiness achieved no longer comes close to the happiness expected and you end up just going through the motions.

 Kind of like heroin, I guess.

 Anyway, the next time you are lazily plowing through a can of Pringles while channel surfing (2 + 3 + 5)/3 = 3.3, think : can I do a little better? 

 If your answer is "no", don't worry - just change the numbers to justify your worldview, like so: "Hey, I think this is the best can of processed potato mush I have ever had, and that makes me unbelievably happy. Also, buying this can was a good thing to do, what with the bad economy and all, so I am actually producing job stability for the vendor.  On top of that, my body is dangerously low on artificial sour cream flavoring, so eating this might actually be good for me." And voila: you have a score that puts that smug sculptor/bodybuilder/reader-for-the-blind next door to shame.