Comedian Patton Oswalt has a great routine (if you are at work, wear headphones, just in case) about not celebrating birthdays unless it marks a big change, like entering a new decade or something.
His argument is well thought out, especially the part about the ravioli, but I disagree. I mean, how else do you “keep score”? Here is a list of a bunch of nerdy, meaningless, or simply depressing milestones you can celebrate between the time you turn 21 until you reach 40.
Feel free to celebrate, but don't expect presents on a lot of these days. In fact, when you tell someone when you turn 36 years, 8 months, and 16 days old that light leaving the Earth on the day you were born is just now reaching the star Arcturus, don't expect anything more positive than "Huh. No kidding." In addition, you may also expect to suddenly and violently have less lunch money than you did before you mentioned that fact.
Alternatively, you can use the list as a convenient excuse for when you forget someone else's birthday. For example, you are sitting there and you suddenly realize that your buddy's 31st b-day was two days ago. Do you send a lame apology text to soothe your nagging conscience? Hell, no! You nerd-up, make him a collage out of elbow macaroni and Dungeons and Dragons dice and wish him a "Happy Pi Cubed Day"... Totally on purpose, you BFF, you!
For a quick translations from the numbers below to real dates just go to WolframAlpha, type in mm/dd/yy + xx.xx years (a date, a plus sign, the number, then the word 'years')
I had a huge spiel to go with many of the items below, but this post is already too darn long. Without further ado, here is the list of nearly-useless milestones for you... say... did I mention that this was my 200th post as SnowUrchin?
Well, it is. Enjoy.
Year Event
21.10 1,100 Weeks Old
21.28 News of your birth reaches HR8832
21.85 News of your birth reaches Xi Boötis
21.92 8,000 Days Old
22.20 700 Million Seconds Old
22.46 300 Lunar Orbits
22.83 200,000 Hours
22.83 12 million Minutes Old
23.01 1,200 Weeks Old
23.51 News of your birth reaches HR753
23.60 News of your birth reaches HR6426
23.80 You have blinked 100 million times
23.97 210,000 Hours Old
24.00 1*2*3*4
24.08 You are 100 Years Old (on Mercury)
24.33 News of your birth reaches HR222
24.36 News of your birth reaches 107 Piscium
24.38 News of your birth reaches Beta Hydri
24.63 News of your birth reaches Mu Cassiopeiae
24.66 9,000 Days Old
24.73 13 million Minutes Old
24.91 News of your birth reaches HR8721
24.93 1,300 Weeks Old
25.00 300 Months Old
25.07 News of your birth reaches Fomalhaut
25.11 220,000 Hours Old
25.27 800 Million Seconds Old
25.30 News of your birth reaches Vega
25.57 1 billion heartbeats
25.83 310 Months Old
26.18 News of your birth reaches Tabit
26.25 230,000 Hours Old
26.28 News of your birth reaches Chi Draconis
26.57 News of your birth reaches p Eridani
26.64 14 million Minutes Old
26.67 320 Months Old
26.85 1,400 Weeks Old
26.90 10,000 work hours
27.00 3 * 3 * 3
27.20 News of your birth reaches Alula Australis
27.30 News of your birth reaches Chara
27.39 240,000 Hours Old
27.40 10,000 days
27.40 News of your birth reaches Mu Herculis
27.50 330 Months Old
27.70 Older than over 50% of humans, now.
27.81 News of your birth reaches 61 Virginis
28.03 News of your birth reaches Zeta Tucanae
28.26 News of your birth reaches Chi¹ Orionis
28.33 340 Months Old
28.53 250,000 Hours Old
28.54 900 Million Seconds Old
28.54 15 million Minutes Old
28.66 News of your birth reaches HR6416
28.75 News of your birth reaches HR1614
28.77 1,500 Weeks Old
28.78 News of your birth reaches HR7722
29.17 350 Months Old
29.25 News of your birth reaches Gamma Leporis
29.47 One Year Old on Saturn
29.50 News of your birth reaches Rana
29.67 260,000 Hours Old
29.86 News of your birth reaches Beta Comae Berenices
29.87 News of your birth reaches HR4550
29.87 News of your birth reaches Kappa¹ Ceti
29.94 400 Lunar Orbits
30.00 360 Months Old
30.06 News of your birth reaches Gamma Pavonis
30.14 11,000 Days Old
30.14 News of your birth reaches HR4523
30.44 16 million Minutes Old
30.68 1,600 Weeks Old
30.76 You are 50 Years Old (On Venus)
30.81 270,000 Hours Old
30.83 370 Months Old
31.00 11111 in binary
31.01 Pi cubed
31.11 News of your birth reaches HR4458
31.12 News of your birth reaches 61 Ursae Majoris
31.67 380 Months Old
31.71 1 billion seconds
31.89 News of your birth reaches 12 Ophiuchi
31.95 280,000 Hours Old
32.00 2 * 2 * 2 * 2 * 2
32.00 100000 (in binary)
32.34 17 million Minutes Old
32.50 390 Months Old
32.54 News of your birth reaches HR511
32.60 1,700 Weeks Old
32.88 12,000 Days Old
32.96 News of your birth reaches HR5256
33.09 290,000 Hours Old
33.10 News of your birth reaches Alpha Mensae
33.33 400 Months Old
33.72 News of your birth reaches Pollux
33.82 12,345 days
33.86 News of your birth reaches HR857
34.17 410 Months Old
34.23 300,000 Hours Old
34.25 18 million Minutes Old
34.36 News of your birth reaches Iota Persei
34.52 1,800 Weeks Old
34.88 1.1 Billion Seconds Old
35.00 420 Months Old
35.19 News of your birth reaches HR9038
35.21 News of your birth reaches Rutilicus
35.37 310,000 Hours Old
35.38 News of your birth reaches Delta Trianguli
35.55 News of your birth reaches Zavijava
35.59 Three Years Old (on Jupiter)
35.60 News of your birth reaches HR637
35.62 13,000 Days Old
35.83 430 Months Old
36.15 19 million Minutes Old
36.18 News of your birth reaches Denebola
36.20 News of your birth reaches HR6806
36.23 News of your birth reaches 54 Piscium
36.27 News of your birth reaches Gamma Serpentis
36.44 1,900 Weeks Old
36.46 pi raised to pi
36.46 News of your birth reaches 11 Leonis Minoris
36.51 320,000 Hours Old
36.63 News of your birth reaches Theta Persei
36.67 440 Months Old
36.70 Older than over 50% of Americans, now.
36.71 News of your birth reaches Arcturus
36.99 News of your birth reaches Murphid
37.43 500 lunar orbits
37.50 450 Months Old
37.62 You are 20 Years Old (on Mars)
37.62 News of your birth reaches HR5553
37.65 330,000 Hours Old
38.00 News of your birth reaches Zeta Doradus
38.05 1.2 Billion Seconds Old
38.05 20 million Minutes Old
38.33 460 Months Old
38.34 News of your birth reaches Lambda Serpentis
38.34 News of your birth reaches Iota Pegasi
38.36 14,000 Days Old
38.36 2,000 Weeks Old
38.56 News of your birth reaches Deneb Alegedi
38.59 News of your birth reaches Porrima
38.79 340,000 Hours Old
39.12 Halfway through Amercian life expectancy
39.15 1,234,567,890 seconds
39.17 470 Months Old
39.46 News of your birth reaches Zeta Reticuli
39.48 News of your birth reaches Zeta Trianguli Australis
39.70 News of your birth reaches HR3384
39.93 News of your birth reaches HR1925
39.93 350,000 Hours Old
39.95 21 million Minutes Old
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