Thursday, May 30, 2013

The Final(ly) Countdown


Nearly half a year ago (wow... has it really been that long?) Santa brought our boy an Estes Tandem X Rocket Kit for Christmas.  In January we excitedly assembled the larger of the two rockets that came in the kit and then tucked it away in the garage so it wouldn’t get lost or smashed.
And there it sat, the victim of a string of launch delays. Weekend rain, flooded launch sites, cold, and high winds played a factor in well over half or them.  Birthday parties, travel, playdates, yard work, and family and church functions were responsible for others.  I guess there were a couple of “man, I totally don’t feel like driving to the park” and “holy cow, I forgot this thing was even here” reasons sprinkled in there, too.

Life has a way of getting in the way, you know?

When I was a kid I had rockets sort of like this... just smaller and less plastic-y.  Probably less safe, too, what with me using a twelve-inch bicycle spoke jammed in the grass as a make-shift launch “guidance” rod. Also, instead of the fancy electric launcher this kit came with I used what I now recognize as a waaayyy too short hunk of wick and the OSHA-disapproved “light it, run like hell, pause, wonder what was taking so long, take two-and-a-half steps toward the rocket, get seriously startled” method to get the things to fly.  

“No sirree, no son of mine is going to have to deal with that,” I thought while I was putting the batteries in the yellow plastic... um... make-it-go machine (sorry about that... my thesaurus has no other words for “launcher” and I used that word in the last sentence and I plan on using it again in the next).  It took 4 AA batteries, which was a little weird but not not as weird as the fact that the flashlight bulb on the launcher (see?) didn’t light even with the safety key in place.

It turned out that it was not defective, just badly designed.  Or overly-well-designed.  It’s hard to tell the difference sometimes... Anyway, by mashing down on the safety key with all my might and with a fuse in place I could just make the lightbulb dimly flicker which is supposed to mean the LAUNCH button would then be active.

Pfft.  That’s no good.  How is my kid supposed to use this thing, even if the bulb was somehow visible in bright sunlight?  Let’s do better.

I rifled through my electronics “hoarder” boxes and found a small project box, a large red LED, some wire, a 9V battery connector, a current-limiting resistor, and a normally-open push-button switch.  Sweet.  Almost there.  I went to radio shack and found a really cool-looking switch (the one with the red cover) to act as one-half of the new safety-circuit.

Just half, you ask? See, regardless of how liberal your definition of “safe” is, you have to admit that handing an electric launcher to a four-year-old and saying “Here, hold this while I go hook up the rocket engine.  Don’t touch the big shiny red switch and, no matter what for the love of God, don’t touch the dazzlingly blue, jolly, candy-like button below it until I get back” will end with you returning from the launch pad with way less eyebrow hair than you had when you woke up that morning.

The second half of the safety circuit came from Lowe’s.  I finally found a use for one of the key-shaped items that their automatic key “duplicator” made, other than filling my door locks with a hunk of ill-fitting metal.  I cut a chunk off the end with a Dremmel and sanded the material down a bit to expose the conductive surface.  Sliding the key through a slot in the side of the box bridges the gap between two pieces of copper leaf inside, completing the circuit.  

Now the very bright LED lights when the key is inserted (which I wear around my neck) AND the covered switch is flipped.  Only then will the blue LAUNCH button light the fuse, launching the rocket somewhere... hopefully mostly “up”.  Also, it takes a 9V battery which is way more convenient than scrabbling around junk drawers looking for a handful of AA’s.

The weather last weekend was awesome and the park was dry so we decided to give it a go.  I was a little nervous about getting a ticket since it wasn’t clear what the rules were there.  There was plenty of space, but some of the parks here have some unusually specific rules.  Heck, one near here actually has a written rule against javelin-throwing.  Man... you accidentally kabob one lousy poodle and “the Man” is all up in your grill, like, forever, you know? 

Grumble... those no good punk kids... training for the Olympics at all hours of the night... 

But,  hey, wouldn’t you know it, another family was there launching rockets as we pulled up so that meant it must be ok!  Right?  


Well, actually, they launched only once and then couldn’t get any more to go.  Their launcher died, you see.  After we confirmed ours worked ok we shared the thing and a good time was had by all.  My wife got some awesome pics and we made some new friends. 

Hopefully the weather will hold for this weekend.  We will see.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Nike+ Kinect Training Daily Waaaahhh! #2


I Got Nowhere Else to Go! 

Look, software, I correct my form as needed.  I doubt anyone in the history of humanity can be said to have "struggled" with 20 seconds worth of running in place during a warmup, so maybe your metric should be a little more analog than "flawless execution" and "utter failure". But, if it can't , maybe you can, like, not mention it every single time we get together.  I mean, you didn’t even recognize me when I signed in, yet you have perfect recall of all my failures.  

It’s been just about four months now, and I’m getting a little sick of your whole “6079 Smith W.! Yes, you! Bend lower, please! You can do better than that. You're not trying. Lower, please! That's better, comrade.” attitude.  Look, I don’t know if it’s the infrared reflectivity of the clothes I wear, the light level in the room, or some other unknowable effect,  but, dude, you stop scoring me in the middle of a set of burpees again because my avatar has simply vanished, I’ll...

I’ll... well...

Sigh...  I'll just do the exercise, I guess...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Nike+ Kinect Daily Waaaahhh! #1


TL;DR Summary: There is no such thing as a perfect piece of exercise software. They all have shortcomings.  Make peace with that.  Nike+ Kinect Training is the best piece of software I have used so far.  That said, it’s got some issues.  

The treadmills and elliptical machines at the gym just got so boring I was finding it difficult to keep myself motivated. More than once I drove into the gym parking lot, sat there for a minute staring at the front door of the place, said "Yeah... I ain't doin that", and drove off. 

Seriously.

It wouldn't take much. Maybe I could see that it was a little crowded. Maybe it was raining.  Maybe it was a little cold and windy... 

Obviously, I needed a change. Sure, I hiked on the weekends and that helped switch it up somewhat but I wanted something I could do during the week that didn't depend on the weather or the angle of the sun in the sky.  I wasn't about to go running in the freezing darkness. Hell, even if the weather was perfect and the roads were well lit I probably wouldn't have done it.  

I borrowed some P90X DVDs from a friend but they stayed in the box untouched.  I saw this software somewhere and decided to pick it up about the same time a couple other friends of mine did.  I started using it in the morning to augment the aerobic part of my workout routine three months ago. You can find out what I thought of it then here.

Oh, by the way, this is not a review. It is neither a promotion nor is it an indictment.  It’s just one dude’s opinion.  If you want to find out what the software can actually do, go to the official site or go to Amazon and read the reviews there (stick with the 2 to 4 star reviews - they tend to be a little less fake and a lot less ax-grindy than the 1’s and 5’s).  The game might suit you, it might not.  Who knows?  Everyone is a beautifully unique freaking snowflake, after all.

I just started my fourth month this morning.  While I was getting my butt kicked around by the virtual trainer I finally came up with a way to whine about the shortcomings of the software without going all “Stephen King describing the what the leaves sound like during a typical Maine autumn (76 pages)” or “J.R.R. Tolkien writing a short note asking the UPS guy to just leave the box on the porch (143 pages)”.

So here it is, the first installment of Nike+ Kinect Daily Waaaahhhh! Note:  “Daily” here means “occasional and subject to termination with no notice because I get bored easily”. 

Who the Devil Are You?

Over the past three months (52 workout sessions) the software has identified me correctly only once.  Once.  Can you imagine what it would be like if your real-life personal trainer said "Now... Who are you again?  Cuz I am drawing a total blank here." every single time you met to work out? Can you imagine making such a feeble impression on others that they have difficulty remembering you exist from one minute to the next?

Dude, it's me. You have one client, and it's always me. Now, I know it's tough to recognize someone with the top one third of their head missing like my scanned in body image always shows, but at least give a guess or something.  Don’t just give up after, like, one second. Say... maybe in the future you could key on the fact that I seem to be missing a large asymmetrical chunk of my skull or something...

Besides, you don’t seem to have any problem at all remembering that I once did a less than flawless jumping jack eight weeks ago and now you feel compelled to say “You have struggled with these in the past but today I know you are really going to nail these” .  

Every. Single. Time.   

I mean, in what universe could it be said that anyone over four years old has ever “struggled” doing jumping jacks? What I am really “struggling” with, here, is coming up with new swear words to hurl at you... What do I have to do to make things right in your eyes?! WHAT?!  NAME IT!!! 

Wait...  You're trying to make me go berserk, aren't you?

Oh, you're good...
(More Later)

Monday, May 6, 2013

Gandalf & Tom Cullen: Sign Makers


Shall?  Well, la-ti-da... After you go there (with Her Royal Majesty's permission, of course) you can go here:


Get in "O" Shape?  Way ahead of you. I just had the fanciest Whopper imaginable, you see...