I woke up this morning to discover that I had an email from a stranger in my inbox (fun!). The person described the problems they were having reading some of the posts in my blog and posited that some browser-related issue could be causing the problem. I thought about it for a moment and then I realized that OH MY GOD I HAVE A BLOG I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT THINK THINK THINK WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I PUT SOMETHING OUT THERE WITH SOME MEAT IN IT OH MY GOD ITS BEEN MONTHS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!
Um, no. That’s not what happened. Not exactly.
At least once a week I would walk to (not actually into, mind you… just passin’ by, see) my office, stop, stare at the laptop for a bit, go “Meh. Tomorrow, I’ll write something, I swear”, then continue on my merry way. Same thing goes for my encounters with my tablet. Also my phone. And my various journals and sketchpads I have scattered about the house. And the notebook I carry around with me at work.
It’s not like I don’t have anything that I could fill up a page with. Heck, these last few paragraphs took me five minutes and basically say nothing but just look at how much space they take up!
And making clever use of white space fills up the page even faster! Like this!
Look at me go!
“But where’s the beef?”, as the kids say nowadays.
It’s been so long let’s just throw together a highlights reel of sorts and push it out there. (Deep breath). Humblebrag… Engage!
Fitness: Crossed over 25,000 calorie mark in YourShape Fitness Evolved 2012 for the Xbox a while back (not sure if I mentioned this or not in an earlier post). I would probably be closer to 35,000 by now but I have been riding my bike in the mornings before work and switched to The Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout for a month just to mix it up a bit. The Biggest Loser software is just about the worst exercise software I have ever used. I had a huge article all outlined comparing these two and the Nike one but it just fell apart. Short story: You want a good workout where you beg your TV to stop killing you, go with Nike. If you want to burn calories and be guilt-rewarded into doing so, go with YourShape. If you want to kick yourself for spending $13.49 on a pre-owned copy of The Biggest Loser instead of just setting fire to the cash in your driveway, go ahead and do that then.
Kid: He’s six! He is taking tennis lessons, he has learned to roller skate, and he can swim the entire length of the neighborhood pool unassisted. Full disclosure: the tennis balls are often (but not always) within one steradian of where he is aiming, his skating technique is defined mainly by a panicky and desperate grab at anything within arm’s length, and his dives into the pool would be immeasurably more graceful if I simply picked him up when he wasn't expecting it and chucked him in overhand. After all, he’s six!
Travel: Took the family to the Bahamas, specifically to the Atlantis Resort. It rocked. As we approached the island and the sea turned from slate grey to translucent blue the boy asked if we were going to land on the beach or at the airport. I said the airport because we have to go through customs and besides I didn’t feel like dealing with The Others anyway. On the shuttle ride from the airport to the hotel my wife learned why I was so against her idea of “spending a day walking around outside the resort” (the shuttle’s windows were the fancy “seein’-through” kind, not the rose-colored kind, you dig?). If you are wondering if I did that water-slide shark aquarium ride the answer is “Hell yeah! Six times! No lines, baby!” As long as you went to the rides when no cruise ships had just pulled in the only lines were those to have your swim trunks professionally extracted from your large intestine after “conquering” some of the more treacherous drops. The food was awesome (I love conch!) but expensive, but the beach was even awesomer and totally free, so it’s all good.
Music: I am still learning to play guitar but I really don’t fire up the Rocksmith software very often anymore except to play the practice games with the boy. I bought him a 3/4 size electric (an all-black Laguna) a while back and he can play (slooowly) the first 36 notes of Welcome to the Black Parade from memory (read: from a sticky-note cheat sheet). A co-worker asked me this week if I would be interested in a mini Strat Squire and I said I’d look at it. It was a gross mess with broken strings and corrosion everywhere but it cleaned up nice and with the new strings i slapped on it sounds a little better than the Laguna. It’s not perfect - it’s a little buzzy and the TONE knob seems to be there just for looks but at $40 with a strap and a cable I think I’ll take it. It fits the boy’s hands better than the Laguna and the color matches my bass… Oh, yeah, speaking of that, this week I learned “Down on the Corner” by CCR. Super easy and fun to play.
Books: Read William R. Forstchen’s Pillar to the Sky and Neve Maslakovic’s The Runestone Incident. Pillars to the Sky was fine. I found the first 133 pages a drag but then the story took off and it ended up being very exciting - I am glad I took a co-worker’s recommendation on this one. It ended appropriately anchored in reality. If you have a physics background pop some Eyerollsatol and just enjoy the ride. I favor time travel stories so The Runestone Incident held no flaws for me… But, hey, let me nit-pick to death the Pillar to the Sky book cuz of physics, right? I kind of wish the female protagonist (Julia) in the series was a little more powerful and a little less self-deprecating. I don't know… give her a gun or something. Again, good book. Give them both a go.
Booze: I bought a bottle of Laphroaig 10 about a month ago to congratulate myself on a job well done for… something… I don’t remember. I throw myself so many ticker-tape parades they all kinda blur together, you know? Anyway, to say that this Scotch is “smoky” doesn’t do the flavor justice. I would say (and this is just my philistine opinion, mind you) that this is sort of like drinking a shot of Jack Daniels though a burning sofa cushion. One time two decades ago (yikes!) I was in a bar and I accidentally took a swig from a half-beer that someone had put a cigarette out in. I would rather finish that beer than have another glass of Laphroaig. To repeat, this is just, like, my opinion, man.
Ok, then. That should do it. I've got two posts ready to go in the queue and according to the last 1,000 pics I have on my phone I have a lot more to say but let's call it a night for now. Time to go watch Phineas and Ferb before the little one goes off to bed.
Night, y’all!
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