I don't know. I probably can't. Maybe tempering my vitriol a little by talking about the nature of people, their high expectations, and their abuse of the "nuclear option" will help, though. We will see.
I used to dread going to Lowe's for my hardware needs, primarily because of the lousy customer service - employees were routinely rude, hard-to-find, and less than helpful when they were locatable. Since Home Depot was a 25 mile drive, though, I really did not have a choice.
Well, actually I could have split my needs between the local lumber yard and a nearby small hardware store, but there are problems with doing that: the lumberyard has banker's hours and the hardware store is very expensive and apparently run entirely by the owner's virtually knowledge-less teenage children and their friends.
About six months ago I noticed a dramatic change: Lowe's became super friendly and helpful! You now can't walk more than a couple of aisles without someone in a polyester vest saying "Hello" or "Welcome to Lowe's" or "Can I help you find something, sir?".
Sir, even?! Well, la-tee-da! The first couple of times I experienced that I felt like Steve Martin's character in My Blue Heaven when he first confronts "small town niceness" at the grocery store. My reaction was nearly the same as his (look it up) - I honestly thought I was being messed with.
Now let's flip that coin over to the "Home Depot" side. Whatever happy chemicals they put in the breakroom water coolers at Lowe's they must have dumped the antidote to it into the ones at Home Depot. A lot of it.
Let me explain:
I just happened to be in the area so I went to Home Depot, skipping and whistling a happy tune (as I am prone to do) knowing that these folks will help me with my Desk Restoration project problem. You know... The problem with the mis-stained wood. I told you about it a couple days ago... Fine, forget it, I knew you didn't read it.
In any case I looked through the paint/stain area for varnish or shellac or some other way to fix the desk that you couldn't care less about. I didn't see what I need. No big shock there since I was really not too sure what I was looking for. Time to ask the shopkeep for a little help.
After a while I located a grumpy looking orange-vest-wearing guy of a certain age and I asked him my opening question: "Where can I find varnish or shellac?" He looked at me, managed to slightly de-lean himself off of a kitchen countertop display, and sighed "I dunno... Over near the paint and stains, probably".
A lot of things went through my mind at that point. "Oh, thanks, Captain Helpful! I spent hours combing the parking lot and the little bins of bolts and screws and I was just headed over to rifle through the bags of mulch. Thank God you could direct me back into the aisle you just saw me walk out of empty-handed." is just one example of the many over-the-top things I did not say at that moment.
Instead, I decided a barely contained public temper tantrum was in order.
I shouted (yes, shouted) "That's it, huh? That's all you are gonna say. Somewhere near the paint and stains?" At this point he was clearly shocked and unslouched completely and started to say something that, if I let him finish, may have been helpful. He didn't get the chance because I ended up with (in an even louder voice) "No, no, no... Don't worry about it. Sorry to have bothered you there, pal!". I then stormed off. For about a half a second I considered going to the manager but decided it wasn't worth my time, so I just left.
Pal?! I have never called anyone "pal" in my life, let alone in the high-and-mighty tone I liberally doused it with in this instance. What the hell was wrong with me?
And then it hit me. I had fallen into the same world-view as the people I hate the most: the spoiled-rotten self-righteous jerks that seem to think that the world revolves around them.
I mean, what did I expect him to do? Snap to attention as I came near? Blow a trumpet and yell “The king approacheth”? Throw rose petals onto my path so my feet never need to be sullied by contact with the floor?
Let's look at it from his point of view.
The poor old guy may have just been taking a much-needed break after unloading a pallet of floor tiles. While he is there trying to figure out if his gas bill is due or if he can afford a $25 iTunes gift card for his 10-year-old niece's birthday this weekend, I come by with this dumb look on my face and ask him (probably) an even dumber question. He stops to think a bit, because this is not the section of the store he is most familiar with, and he gives the best answer he can muster on the spur of the moment. And, all of a sudden, I come completely unhinged and storm off. So now the poor guy had to spend the rest of the day worrying if I just ran off to get him fired. In this economy, too...
Millions of hissy-fits like mine happen every single day. People demand to be overly-compensated for small inconveniences constantly. Now, before you get all defensive, I will admit there are instances where "the nuclear option" is definitely the way to go. Are you really upset enough to try and get someone fired because you spent 2 minutes longer in the McDonald's drive-thru than you are accustomed to? Are you seriously that unstable? Are you “raging against the machine” to get a discount in your satellite TV bill (victimless, good) or are you trying hard to get the overworked single mom who “screwed up your coffee order TWICE if you can believe that” canned (not-victimless, bad)?
Sorry, Home Depot dude... Unless you are actually a jerk, of course. In that case, let's just call it even and never speak of this again.
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