Two Staffs. (Staves? Really? That Sounds Weird...)

A very long time ago the boy and the wife were out hiking.  The boy found a big oak branch that he used to help himself trek around the winding trail. He brought it home and asked me if he could put it in my wood bin in the garage. I said sure.

I immediately noticed its potential to become a truly beautiful walking stick but I was terrified to touch it. It was already very nice looking and, except for the mushroomed end, it really needed no modification.  Even the cracked area near what I thought of as the top looked pretty cool, if splintery.

Eventually I got brave enough to saw off the bottom six or so inches of the branch and I began to smooth out the hand-shredding gap near the top with a Dremmel. After a bit, I was pleased with the look but I decided that I needed to put pins in it to keep it from splitting any further.  Four three-eighth inch holes were drilled and were fitted with dowels. After the glue dried I sanded that area and I noticed that if I was careful I could get the splotched pattern you see here.

I rounded off the end, applied the lightest stain I had, then hand rubbed in several coats of semi-gloss poly. After the walking stick was dry I burned the boy’s initials into the top and re-sealed that area.

We think it turned out pretty nice.

Sometime after that project was done the eight-year-old was at school where he found a fairly straight branch he wanted me to turn into a walking stick like the first one.

Well, this one is a lot thinner and I think is sweetgum and is pretty much everything you don't want in a hiking staff. I would have said “no” if it weren't for two things:

The first is he told one of his buddies that his dad could turn this into a great hiking stick and he would sell it to him for $5 after it was done in a couple of days. Nice. Way to channel your inner middle-manager, there, buddy. You freaking nailed it.

I mean… Committing resources he didn't have any control over to perform a task he had no clue about while simultaneously ignoring schedule constraints and grossly underestimating the labor cost?  I'm sorry, everyone... I don't mean to brag. I'm just so damn proud…

Anyway, the second thing only happened because I had to pick him up from school that day. If mom picked him up instead, I would have never known about it. As I entered, one of the after-care ladies called to him in her “I shouldn't have smoked so much during WWII” voice, saying “Your dad’s here. Don't forget your… stick.” 

I wish I could express in text the absolute distaste she had in her voice as she said the word “stick”.  I guess if you replaced the word “stick” with “trash bag filled with dirty diapers” you might come close. Even the pause she used reminded me of a line from Life, the Universe, and Everything:

…After what it had calculated to ten significant decimal places as being the precise length of pause most likely to convey a general contempt for all things matressy…

So now I’m all like “Oh, no, she d’dn’t”! I loudly praised the boy for his choice of raw materials for our new project (I’d like to thank the Academy…) and we left for the day.

Like I said, among its other shortcomings, the branch was too thin. A simple handle of some sort needed to be crafted. To the Scrapbin, Boy Wonder!

A chunk of pine furring strip was selected, drilled out, and shaped. The handle looked ok but I wanted to give it some contrast so I hit it with some ebony stain. Now I had the tint I was going for but the whole thing was still kinda “meh”.

Besides, the asymmetry of the branch meant there was a gap where it met the handle so that needed to be covered up or filled somehow (I don't own a lathe. Or have the space for one. Or the money for one. Or know how to use one properly. Oh, like you're so great…).

I addressed both of those problems by epoxying suede lacing around the handle and the base. This provided a nice two-fer of covering up the gap and giving the handle a bit of interest.

So, it didn't end up looking too bad.

It’s strong enough to augment a child’s efforts on slightly hilly or muddy terrain but I wouldn’t want to have to rely on this thing to help ford a fast moving stream or anything. If you are ever hanging off the edge of a cliff by your fingertips and your hiking buddy says “Quick! Grab this! I'll pull you up!”, rest assured that the last thing you hear before your terrified screams drown out the sound of the wind rushing by your ears as the earth rises up to meet you will be KA-SNAP!!!

Jeebus. I just gave myself goosebumps. I'm also thinking the boy might have gotten the price estimate right on this thing after all.